In any reading, I step into the person’s reality. Their perception, their thoughts, their emotions… as an empathic psychic, this is how it feels. I co-feel. But I am allowed access via this gift to understand the WHY the person is the way they are. Spirit guides lead me to it, they show me the truth that underlies it all, and they do this so the person can release the restraints keeping them from seeing it. Its not for everyone.
I had a reading with a woman, and around her spirit was saying “victim”. She had a blue aura. And as a blue, she was a fixer, a healer… but her fears had turned this on her. And she was fixing the wrong things. As I saw this, spirit kept repeating “victim”…But they didn’t mean anything actually happened to her, they showed that this is how she felt all the time. Totally out of control and very targeted by others.
Authenticity has a price, and sometimes that price is the ones we love most.
The Reading -
She shoved at me a picture of her daughter, who I picked up was in fact a lesbian and living openly about it. She was in a very happy relationship with the woman in the photo next to her. The woman started crying hysterically.
“How do I show her that she has ruined her family?” she wept.
“Why does she choose to destroy me?”
I side stepped this for the moment, and asked to see a picture of her husband – the father of this young woman. He was very red, all one color, very adamant of his ways. He was angry, narcissistic, he was selfish and unkind. Everyone around him wasn’t a person; they were an extension of him. There was no room for others to have identities that didn’t include his approval as the central point of their being.
And I told her all of this. And I told her that as a blue, she felt the need to “heal” him by keeping the façade of what he needed to feel in life alive. And in doing so, she was asking her daughter to do the same thing. And she was asking her daughter to be different, be what her husband needed to see and needed her to be. So that he felt safe, so that he felt number one and so that he felt in control.
The woman was floored. She couldn’t believe I didn’t agree how cruel her daughter was. I then gently turned it around on her. I explained to her that she was the one being cruel – that her asking her daughter to deny something that is a right to her… simply because dad can’t accept a world where he isn’t worshipped is wrong. That her co-dependency was a major culprit here, the actual bridge the cruelty was crossing to get to her little girl. That she was enabling abuse. That she thought she was healing, but she was just honoring the nastiest energy in this family dynamic…because she herself couldn’t deal with being unloved by a very unloving person. That her self worth depended on a narcissist’s approval. That her victimization was an identity that she needed her daughter to enable. That this was all happening because of her need to be a person who internalizes abuse. Her self worth deriving from it. Her identity so firmly attached to it.
The Result -
Mom choose her husband over her daughter. Authenticity has a price, and sometimes that price is the ones we love most. But we give that up in order to hold a place for “that which is greater than us” and within that… lies our divine life.